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until it’s over, but it’s far from over

where i come from motivation derives from survival. survival itself is the instinct that you just develop along the way when interacting in very stressful worlds. survival is a test, some win some lose. now that i live outside that type of world i find it difficult to stay motivated. when i have already kicked into high-gear in terms of survival, how do i get that feeling of motivation that i once had?

purpose

finding purpose behind a desk and on a computer rather than on the streets trying to eat is very different. previously my mode was survival, success out of spite, but now what is my purpose? well re-purposing is something that is not that difficult. in my particular situation i think of what i went through, and how i can help those people going through similar things.

so my new purpose in saving other people is kind of like saving myself once more. instead of losing focus, eating steak and gaining weight i have an objective in mind; save as many as i can.

the way that i save people is through my day job in education, and re-telling my story through writing.

re-imagining your world

i believe firmly that the sky is very grey when it comes to people’s worth. for instance what i learned from being involved in a drug-centric world was not all negative. while illegal that particular craft has people or dealers who have qualities like being hard working, intelligent, innovative and resilient. these skills seem to be transferable.

so now that i am behind a desk i get to bring those qualities to the table. the mentality is no different, but the world is. i can be all of those things, and more in a world that is centered on the education of others. before it seemed like everyday was a struggle mainly because of the risk, but risk is something unknown. if i center my world on the unknown that does breed hope. so how do i find that behind a desk?

being the best

to find risk behind a desk i simply tell myself that i want to be the best at what i do. this relates to risk because being the “best” implies not being the same. individual behavior change relies on the fact that you do not repeat something that did not work out for you in the first place, you do something different. well the dynamics of the professional environment plays on the same thing, if you want to be the best or improve do something different than everyone else. of course the thing is, being different is taking a risk. people tend to be more comfortable with routine, so trying to be the best is how i create that sense of risk for myself now.

motivators

by now you get the sense that i feel that motivation exists outside of whatever world you exist in. so even though no one is exactly like you, or has had exact experiences, motivation has some of the same factors, so why not find those qualities in the stories of others. i often find motivation from film, music, or lectures. when i look to be motivated lately i will play the song “over” by drake.

this song motivates me in the same way that the ghosts of the past do. i think of the things that motivated my grandfather to overcome slavery, to own his own farm. i think of the odds that faced my old man in the korean war, or his journey in his legal and illegal businesses. these stories whether in film or through the past inspire me to do better to improve. so i make use of them, i remind myself of them often to gain perspective on what i am doing now.

when drake says “….that’s what imma do til it’s over, but it’s far from over.” he is speaking on legacy. when it is over what will your name look like, how will your children perceive it. your legacy is something worth exceeding expectations for. ¬†find someone who would like to leave things better than they found it, then you have found one person who is motivated.

“you can look me in the eyes, see i’m ready for whatever, anything don’t kill me make me better.” – t.i. motivation





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